


love him

by kaliebee



Series: Drabbles [7]
Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: F/M, Posting it anyway, but it's about spencer soo??, i wrote this in fifteen minutes yeet, inspired by Gabrielle Aplin's 'Please Don't Say You Love Me', this is written really weird and i don't actually say names
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-04
Updated: 2019-04-04
Packaged: 2020-01-04 12:27:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 310
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18343691
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kaliebee/pseuds/kaliebee
Summary: you see it in the way he looks at you when he thinks you aren’t looking. so soft and loving and sweet, eyes crinkled at the corners. the way he smiles when you say something dumb, the way he holds your hand just a little too tightly sometimes, the way he says my girlfriend with so much pride and… love.





	love him

you see it in the way he looks at you when he thinks you aren’t looking. so soft and loving and sweet, eyes crinkled at the corners. the way he smiles when you say something dumb, the way he holds your hand just a little too tightly sometimes, the way he says  _ my girlfriend  _ with so much pride and… love.

some days you wish you’d never noticed. if you’d never noticed you wouldn’t feel guilty every time you pressed your lips against his or said something that made him laugh or whisper  _ i can’t imagine life without you _ . because you can’t. he’s your best friend and you’d be a wreck without him but you don’t love him the way he wants you too.

he’s sweet and beautiful and you care about him, really, you do. you care about him, but you don’t  _ love  _ him. he’s nice to look at, to talk to, to kiss and cuddle with, but you don’t love him. you wish he could because honestly, he’s so fucking perfect and you’re never going to find another person as amazing and loving as he is. you’re never going to do better than him and yet, you still can’t love him.

it hurts because you know one day he’ll tell you. he’ll be brave and tell you how much he loves you and you’ll either choke out the words that taste like poison in your mouth or you’ll tell him the truth and both options will end with you sobbing in bed because  _ you don’t fucking love him _ .

but until that day, you’ll keep kissing him. you’ll keep letting him read to you and letting him kiss your neck in that way you love and you’ll keep pretending not to notice when he _looks_ at you because you don’t love him, but maybe you do in the wrong way.


End file.
